What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
