The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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