So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
