I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
