But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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