"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
