Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
