Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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