1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
