i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
