isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
