Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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