Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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