This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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