You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
