just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
