We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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