i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
