I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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