anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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