Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
