I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
