i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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