Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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