small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize