I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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