fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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