id be glad to
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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