it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
