I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
