toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
