he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
