I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Randomize
