So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
