I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
