and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
