This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
