Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
