I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
