just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
