I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
