Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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