never play flip cup with pint glasses
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
No stitches, just platelets and will power
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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