what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
