I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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