It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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