she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
