did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
