I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
