Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
