At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
