Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
