I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
