I have demons in me.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
