Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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