then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
