It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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