Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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