I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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