it was like eating out sand paper
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
My vagina is very pro this idea
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
