I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
