Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
only you would photoshop your dick
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
