no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
