I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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