Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
