Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
